Clandestine

November 19, 2019

As the wind blows gently
The relentless stared farther
And like a flowing river
Why'd you left to go yonder?

I often see your smiling face
Yet no one perceived behind is sadness
Can't deny it has made me wonder
Why is it so? Why is it, brother?

A smile that heals an aching heart
Oh, how I love to see a such
One grin eliminates the hurt,
Your laughter echoes in my heart

Your friendly greetings, hugs and smile
Warms someone's mind and heart
Yet furtively succumbed to loneliness
You never showed any signs of sadness

Please speak. Talk to me, will you?
But you're gone now...
Don't know where to find you.
Why you didn't let me hear you?

Nonetheless. I could only whisper.
In the wind, I utter hopes and pray'r
It hurts so bad, my heart yearns for you.
But maybe, somehow, you're happy too.

Longing to see you, yet, I hope for peace.
That somehow, in your resting place
You're now enjoying your tranquility.
No longer relentless, perhaps, lying in serenity....





(For a friend, a brother now resting in peace)

DUSK

By: Mrs. Bee











What is lurking behind the beauty,
That marauders of youth would love to steal?
No one is above the year's sanction
Nobody is entitled for exclusion.

The wrinkles around her enervating eyes
Speak about the laughters and tears in her years
The gray strands crowning that one beaut of a hair
Where deriding human eyes would dare to stare

The potency of youth that cluctched on
In dilemma she have called forth wisdom
Strength where have you gone?
The juvenile bustling rushing for freedom.

The once straight sturdy legs
Bowed and weak, ruffled and slow
Back arches and often aches
A pair of eyes devoid of glow.

But nonetheless, as rainbow fades
The glory dwindles and the beauty vanish
The ecstasy beyond the years of the wrinkled
Can sometimes be loud, mysterious and muffled

Yet overall, fulfillment dwells inside
Beyond the gray hair acuity and joy resides
No matter how wrinkled and frame becomes frail
Her prudence will be told like an old rousing tale

© 2019 BeECRUZader  All Rights Reserved

~~Para kay nanay kong mahal~~

THE CLUBHOUSE STORY

By: Mrs. Bee 

              

KRRRNG! The loud sound of the bell ringing is heard in the entire campus of Dalubhasaang Epifanio de los Santos.The year was 1987. 

The school has started to be filled with students rushing their way to the school’s canteen.

It’s break time. 

At the grade 5 classroom, everyone sped up through the door, each one race to be the first one to get out of the room, while little Betchay, a 10 year old girl, stay seated counting the coins in her hand. ‘I only need one more peso.’ She uttered in her mind.

“Let’s go buy our food.” Said Nenita her classmate and a close confidant. She reluctantly followed. Afraid to become the hot topic again as her classmates would often buzzed about her for not having any food to eat again for snack.

And while Nenita is choosing the food in front of the counter, little Betchay watched from behind.

This has become the scene most of the time, if not everyday in the latter’s life. Then they'd usually walk their way through the wide and covered pathway to join their other classmates to play.

As they reached the place, before Betchay even sit near the bushes, she heard a whimper from behind. She followed the groaning voice, and right behind the shrub was a young girl weeping.

“Why are you crying?” Inquired Betchay.

“I’m hungry.” The young girl abruptly replied, she's about 7 years of age. Betchay’s hand traveled through the pocket of her skirt bringing out the coins she was counting a moment ago. 

Again, she counted them and… “Come with me.” She said, putting her right arm on the kid’s shoulder. 

“I’ll come back later.”  She panned her head towards Nenita.

When the girls enter the store, Betchay’s eyes started to venture at the copious packs of food hanging upfront and behind the lady who's been irritatingly staring at her waiting for her to decide which stuffs to buy.

“How much is that?” She asked pointing at one big plastic packed with smaller packets of foods in it. 

“One fifty.” The lady briefly answered.

“How about...that one?” Pointing at the big transparent plastic full of yellow small packs of snacks inside. 

“Fifty centavos.” The lady answered in annoyance. 

"Umn, that one?" She asked again pouting her lips to another plactic pack but the woman got pissed off. She crossed her arms in front of her, she raised a brow and glowered.

“Okay that one." Aware of the woman's gesture she pointed back to the yellow colored pack of nosh.

"Please give me two.” Picking the coins from her palm she handed them over to the woman who in turn gave her the two packs of “Zeb-zeb,” a corn puff. 

She gave the other one to the young girl who instantly stepped ahead leaving her gazing at the food displayed on the glass shelf. 

She looked at the food she’s holding in her hand and to the shelf, then gazed at the coins left in her palm and felt a bit sad. 

Bethchay turned her head to where the girl is standing and saw her waiting for her. 

Realizing that the young kid is having a hard time opening the plastic pack of her corn puff, she sauntered with a speedy gait to help her. 

The little girl immediately consumed hers, that was nearly empty when they arrived at the place where they were previously at.

And before the little girl left, “You should come back here again, tomorrow." She beamingly said.

"Just come to me if you don’t have anything for snack.” Said Bethchay. The little girl nodded then hastily run away with a smile on her lips.

On the next day, while still a distant from the pathway, Betchay could already see the young girl smiling and waving at her. She signalled the little one to come closer.

At the canteen, Bethchay is asking the same angry lady, who's already scowling at her for inquiring about such and such packs of chips, biscuits and cookies. But they ended up eating the corn puff, “Zeb-zeb” again. 

After emptying the plastic of food they went their separate ways. Bethchay played football (Pinoy football kids version) with her classmates, while the little girl played with her friends.

On the third day of feeding the little one, they both have “Coco Honey” (a coconut flavored biscuit) for a snack, since it cost the same as the corn puff they were eating.

Among her classmates, Little Betchay alone has one peso for allowance (baon), while the rest of her classmates’ allowance ranges from ten pesos up to as high as fifty pesos.

Which is why she needs to save up for the food she wanted to eat, just in case she craved for the food that cost beyond her allowance. 

However, among all the food in the canteen, which is located below Betchay’s classroom, there's one that she'd always envisioned to taste, which makes her world stop every time she’d see it. 

Most people in the campus would find her in front of the glass shelf spending a minute or so staring at the mouth-watering clubhouse sandwich, oozing with mayonnaise that was spread in it. 

Though unaware of all the stuffs filled in the sandwich she’s craving, she still finds it delightful. But for years she’s been waiting and eyeing to eat it, she haven’t tasted one, since her allowance is always not enough, because the clubhouse sandwich costs three days of her allowance. 

Even if she tried to save for it, most of the time there are unexpected things occurred in a day making her spend some if not all of her money, like buying a piece of writing paper, paying for a piece of theme paper or a bond paper maybe and many other things. And now, another situation has emerged, a girl is hungry and needs to be fed.

Days and weeks gone by, and the two little kids were still together every morning during breaktime enjoying their food that is, if not the corn puff, it’s a biscuit in coconut flavor with a sugar on top (Coco honey).

But one day, Betchay arrived earlier than the usual at the covered walkway. The little girl hasn't arrived yet, so she decided to sit beside her classmates who were having their snacks. Minutes have passed and yet the little girl was still nowhere to be found. Breaktime was over and so Betchay hesitantly started to striding to her classroom. Wondering where the little girl could be. 

'She might get even hungrier if she didn't eat today.' She worriedly thought of her.

‘Maybe she’s absent.’ She concluded to brush away the troubles in her mind.

But then again, the little girl did not show up the next day, and the next day. And the day after that next day.

‘Maybe she’s sick.’ She thought again. 

Weekend past, and she’s stood again near the briers but did not wait that long, she stood up and went to the little one’s classroom to inquire. The teacher of the young girl said she had no idea whether the little one will still or will not show up for school anymore. She has no news from her or any of her relatives she added.

Unhappy, Betchay returned to her classroom a bit clueless on how she'd spend the next coming days, since she became accustomed to the new routine she had for more than a month.

But just like any other ordinary kid, she has moved on and forgotten about the girl. And her days become as if she have never met the young lass. 

Years past, and little Betchay still hasn’t tasted the clubhouse sandwich she's longing to eat during her elementary and high school days. But this time it's not because she cannot save for it nor she does help another kid, but because the craving has stopped for what reason? That I do not know.

The memories with that little girl kept visiting her once in a while, She even sometimes thought of the camaraderie they’ve had, her smile, and while playing with her and how they played and laughed with her friends.

The long dream of tasting that sandwich may not have happened during those times I most wanted to try it, but my regret is not because of choosing not to taste it and share my allowance with a younger kid but… of not knowing the name of that little girl.

Why didn’t I bother to ask her name anyway? Until now, I cannot still find the answer why the little me did not do so. 

ILLUSION OF LIGHT

Countless night I wondered

When will the dawn come? I uttered

Sorrowful heart, exhausted mind,

Alone, left behind.

An illusion of light

Somewhere within the night,

Stars will peek from the sky,

Tomorrow the sun will stop the weeping and the sigh.

But the illusions of light are at all no illusion

You came illuminating life's distraught condition

Your countenance is brighter than the sun

The stars luminescence is nothing compare to You, the One.

One day in Your court

Where freedom resides from trouble of some sort

I will gaze at Your radiance

This is my hope and my stance. 

But since life is not yet through

Stand for him to be the light

In the darkest of the night

Behold! His light is shining oh, so bright!

GIVEN GRACE                                            
By: Mrs. Bee

The world may not be a perfect place to live in serenity 
But "The earth is the LORD's and everything in it," 
And that for me is enough to give Him my praise with all humility. 
And in worship and gratefulness I will bow down, i'm part of it and of His family. 

In debt to this breath of life He gave me, I live working out my best 
So in my grave, as I close my eyes i'd be peacefully at rest 
Knowing that i have done what the Sovereign One requires of me 
Living life excellently to give glory to Thee. 

Though I don't live in plain or in the city without sorrow and pain 
And perhaps, tranquility may be far from this world 
But with my Father from His hiding place, 
Showered me love and so much of His grace. 

And soon, on my appointed time of meeting Him in His dwelling 
There, with joy i'll be at home with Him, no pain, no injustice, no more weeping, 
No corruptions,no poverty, no hopelessness,
No deceptions, no sarcasms, no more loneliness. 

Because with Him, and His will, everything is perfectly in order 
Just like the stars arrayed in the sky so vast gave us light at night 
So as His glory shines upon those who's with Him, illuminating each corners of heaven 
And in awe to His wonders i'll utter, "thank You Lord, for the grace to me you've given." 

LORD, thank You for Your GIVEN GRACE. 
Because You're with me, though in the world i experienced so much pain 
I knew from the start Your rainbow appears after the rain 
And from then, a new beginning will reign, a new grace to me will be given.